


Smoke and Ash

by porridgemilk (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Yakuza, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-14 00:10:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5722294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/porridgemilk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You shouldn’t be smoking,” Iwaizumi finally said and Oikawa welcomed the sound of his voice and how it broke the awful silence between them.</p><p>Oikawa poised his lips into a carefree, knowing smile and took another drag. He blew out and watched the puffs billow around them, waiting for Iwaizumi to frown at him. He did, and Oikawa felt a slight spark of vanity at having guessed right.</p><p>“What’s this?” he asked lightly, leaning off the side of his garden chair and regarding Iwaizumi carefully where he sat beside him on the other reclined chair. Iwaizumi’s eyes were tired “The heir of a yakuza clan wants me to stop smoking?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smoke and Ash

Oikawa could feel Iwaizumi’s eyes on him as he took a drag from his cigarette. Smoke rose from his lips and Iwaizumi’s eyes lazily watched the curling tendrils of the grey rise through the night air, cold and crisp and so devoid of the scent of any other human being besides the two of them.

“You shouldn’t be smoking,” Iwaizumi finally said and Oikawa welcomed the sound of his voice and how it broke the awful silence between them.

Oikawa poised his lips into a carefree, knowing smile and took another drag. He blew out and watched the puffs billow around them, waiting for Iwaizumi to frown at him. He did, and Oikawa felt a slight spark of vanity at having guessed right.

“What’s this?” he asked lightly, leaning off the side of his garden chair and regarding Iwaizumi carefully where he sat beside him on the other reclined chair. Iwaizumi’s eyes were tired “The heir of a yakuza clan wants me to stop smoking?”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with it. Do you want to die too?” Iwaizumi’s voice was soft, steady. Oikawa had caught the slight tremor in it—he’d known him long enough to see right through him.

“Ah,” Oikawa managed to say. So he was still thinking about that. “I won’t die from just this, Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi didn’t look like he believed him. The cigarette remained lit between Oikawa’s lips and he could feel his eyes resting there, not looking directly at him. “Is that so?”

“We’ve gotten through worse scrapes than this one. I’m right aren’t I?”

Oikawa was sly. He knew Iwaizumi couldn’t say no to that even if it was unfair to ever compare such things in the first place. Carnage and death, blood and ash. Drawing comparisons was never fair. Neither was expecting them to get used to it, even if they had chosen this life of their own volition.

“You’re an asshole,” Iwaizumi said, the trace of a laugh in his voice “Those weren’t the same.”

“I know,” he sighed “I just wanted to try saying it once, just to know if it helped.”

It was at times like these that Oikawa wished he could be more than a partner in crime to Iwaizumi. He wished there was some way he could share the burden of his friend—his brother sworn by blood—every time he had to question the rightness of their actions as part of the yakuza.

“Father says you get used to it eventually,” Iwaizumi said after a while, eyes raised up to the sky. It was blank—murky and covered with grey clouds that swirled in the sky, casting the half hidden moon in shadow. “I don’t think I believe him yet.”

“I don’t think I do either,” Oikawa winced, blowing out a puff and wondering if there was a way they could have chosen a life that had been simpler.

Iwaizumi hummed, and for a while they were quiet. The crickets chirped a lonely melody, and the water in the pool ahead of them rippled just the slightest with the gentle night breeze. Oikawa could feel Iwaizumi’s eyes on him again.

“What is it, Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi seemed to be considering something in his silence. And then, he said “Let me have one too, will you?”

Oikawa stared at him for just a while before he regained his composure and shoved a hand in his pants pocket. He took out the box and  lightly waved a cigarette in front of his friend. Iwaizumi took without a word and put it between his lips.

“You’re supposed to light it first, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said with a laugh “I know you’ve never smoked before but I thought you’d know that much at least.”

Iwaizumi quirked an eyebrow at him. Quit joking, he seemed to be saying.

“I know,” he said instead, his voice oddly soft “Light it for me.”

Oikawa wondered what that voice had meant, too soft and somehow intimate to be just a simple command. There was a slight ache in his chest that he wished he could ignore as he leaned closer towards Iwaizumi, one hand resting on his chair to balance himself. His hand grazed against Iwaizumi’s thigh and he waited, for any movement that would tell him if this was what he’d wanted.

Iwaizumi only moved closer, clean cigarette between his lips. Oikawa swallowed, brought his own into his mouth and pressed it close, letting the burning flame lick at the end. He could feel Iwaizumi’s slow, steady breathing and somehow the thought hurt—Iwaizumi so close, breathing and so painfully alive, the distance between them so minute that he could have reached out and closed it in a heartbeat. Iwaizumi’s eyes were on him again, and Oikawa could see the tenderness there, warm and always trusting.

Oikawa leaned back and blew out a puff between them, letting the moment fade. The air suddenly felt cold again—as if the near two centimeters distance between them had brought any warmth to either of them—and Oikawa smiled sadly to himself, hoping Iwaizumi wouldn’t see.

He watched Iwaizumi turn his head abruptly and take a drag of his own, trying not to cough as he did.

 “It’s fine to look at me when you’re doing that, you know,” he said, looking ahead “Like I said, this isn’t going to kill me.”

“Live longer than me and then we’ll see,” Iwaizumi huffed, turning to look at him. He was smiling just the slightest now, and Oikawa felt the traitorous beat of his heart stutter again.

Just like an unspoken rule of drawing no comparisons, Oikawa knew that such feelings also fell into the category of things that were not worthy of being spoken about.

“Want to bet on it, Iwa-chan?” he said instead, and watched Iwaizumi wistfully smile at the night sky again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I might write a few more drabbles in the same universe if I can. I did plan on writing a long oneshot based on this but I don't think that's possible at the moment so that will suffice I hope  
> Thank you for reading! Feedback is greatly appreciated ^O^


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